Saturday 27th April 2024
Flying on empty in the UK, learning the drill across Europe, and losing confidence in Scotland
10 RUSSIA UK / Boaty McBoatfarce
The unpopular government of a country in decline on the edge of Europe forced a mad plan through parliament in a bid to convince voters it was still in control. But as Lord Adonis pointed out, “a policy which is almost universally panned as unworkable and irrelevant… is probably unworkable and irrelevant”. Owing to shaky legal foundations, it’s unlikely that many of the asylum-seekers who make it to Britain by boat will ever be deported – or that the threat of being resettled in Africa will stop the boats as much as introducing ID cards (it’s easier to find work in the UK than the rest of Europe because the UK doesn’t have them). The reality suggests that the Safety of Rwanda Bill is more about political posturing than problem-solving, but for a PM who’s less popular than celebrity weasel Nigel Farage, perhaps it’s all there is left.
09 EUROPE / Middle-stage spread ☢️
Polish prez Andrzej Duda said he’d be up for hosting NATO nuclear weapons on home soil, adding that the idea had been a Warsaw-Washington talking point “for some time”. His comments form the backdrop to a huge training operation that’s seen 90,000 troops preparing for the worst across Estonia, Germany and Lithuania – all potential flashpoints should Vlad the bad go fully loco. “This exercise changes the calculus for our adversaries – that’s the real power of this,” NATO’s General Darryl A Williams from the Allied Land Command said. According to him, Putin “… is watching this and saying, ‘Hmm, maybe I need to think twice here.’” As the war drags on, the US is paving the way to use frozen Russian assets to pay for it all.
08 SCOTLAND / Green cosh 👋
The ruling Scottish National Party’s future hung in the balance after its boss, Humza Yousaf, ended its coalition with the Scottish Greens and became a minority government. The decision comes after disagreements about a damning report on gender identity and a major backtrack on the environment, ideological splits that would have forced the Greens to resign were the decision not made for them. “You can’t rip up the most progressive co-operation deal in the history of this parliament and expect business to continue as usual,” they said. “This is leadership,” Yousaf replied. Along with his party, he faces a no-confidence vote next week.
07 SAN REMO / Middle ground ↔️
What is the tiny republic up to? On the one hand, it’s “an EU like-minded partner and regularly supports EU foreign-policy positions in international organisations” – according to European Commission spokesman Peter Strano. But on the other, it boasts a history of welcoming gruff Russian officials like foreign minister Sergei Lavrov and welcoming Russian tourists to spend roubles there. In 2021, it even bought the Sputnik jab despite tests showing it was to COVID vaccines what Lynx Africa is to haute parfumerie. At some point, it’s gonna have to choose a side.
06 AUSTRALIA & MUSKERIA / Tap dance 💬
Geopolitical wrecking ball Elon Musk continued to blur the lines between nation state and one-man superpower, after refusing to remove videos on X of a Sydney bishop being stabbed. Aussie PM Anthony Albanese branded him an “arrogant billionaire”, while Senator Jacqui Lambie warned “the video could be used to encourage people in Australia to join a terrorist organisation or undertake a terrorist act”. Others said that taking the posts down would compromise freedom of speech.
05 MYANMAR / Rebel nation
The military junta’s 2021 coup isn’t working out the way its ancient generals hoped: instead, the resistance now controls over half of the country’s territory and pissed-off young people aren’t backing down. “I’m an ordinary girl, an ordinary young person. I believe in federal democracy and human rights,” 21-year-old Ma Suu Kyi said. The fearless warrior puts her chances of surviving the revolution at 50-50.
04 BELGIUM / One for the road 🍻
A drunk-driver – whose blood-alcohol level was over four times the legal limit – was acquitted after being diagnosed with “auto-brewery syndrome”, a rare condition in which the body ferments its own booze. “I think he was somehow relieved that he finally knew what was up,” the 40-year-old’s lawyer, Anse Ghesquiere, said.
03 US / Life choices 🍼
The 2022 crackdown on abortion – when the Supreme Court used Dobbs v Jackson to overturn Roe v Wade and ruled that states could set their own laws – is prompting more young women to tie their tubes and rule out the prospect of a baby completely.
02 UK / Lads drag ⚽
Queens Park Ladies, an under-12 football team in Bournemouth and the only girls’ squad in a league of boys, won every single one of their matches.
01 ITALY / Split decision 🍨
Milan banned ice cream after midnight.
Make-it-into-a-tea-towel of the week: skipping a generation 💿
Japan’s penchant for the compact disc is down to saihan seido (price controls) and idolatry, according to The Economist:
Number of the week: child neighbour 🧸
£1bn+
What the UK’s over-12s (including plenty of adults) spend on toys every year – a quarter of the market.
Quote of note: who said…? 🎤
“We did not choose this moment. But it falls to us to meet it.”
(a) UK PM Rishi Sunak on raising defence spending to 2.5% of GDP by 2030.
(b) Swedish PM Ulf Kristersson on hosting this year’s Eurovision Song Contest.
Find the answer here.
Stat of the week: liquid assets 💦
>40%
How much the failing utilities company Thames Water wants to increase bills by; the Financial Times calculated that “water companies in England and Wales paid £2.5bn in dividends and added £8.2bn to their net debt in the two financial years since 2021”.
Image of the week: picture this 🎨
The “Portrait of Fräulein Lieser,” a long-lost, unfinished painting from 1917 by Gustav Klimt that sold for €35m on Wednesday in Vienna:
I blame autocorrect. Thanks for the spot 😘
San Remo?