Saturday 8th January 2022
Fighting for votes in the US, faking it in India, and love on the line in China
10 US / Wan direction 🍊
The future’s bright, the future’s… orange? Prez Biden used the anniversary of the Capitol attack to tell his fellow Americans that a permatanned pretender held “a dagger to the throat of democracy” – which The New York Times reckons he’ll find easier to subvert in 2024, should he stand when elections roll around again. Why? Many swing-state officials who told Trump to go jump in 2020 have been replaced by fanatics who “openly say the last election was fraudulent”. With 78% of Republicans convinced Biden did not really win, and 39% totally down with packing an Uzi in the overnight bag to Washington, some worry that civil war is on the cards – though others think state machinery is too strong for that. But as the NYT puts it: “How many times will we have to be proved wrong before we take it seriously?”
09 US / Blood money 💉
Elizabeth Holmes, whose whizz-bang medtech company Theranos promised to diagnose everything from cancer to cholesterol with just a few drops of blood, was (insert surprised-face emoji here) found guilty of making it all up. Now, an increasing number of critics are questioning whether giving 19-year-olds in Stanford hoodies vast wads of cash to unleash untested products on the world really is free-market capitalism at its finest. “This is a case about fraud, about lying and cheating to get money,” Assistant US Attorney Robert Leach said. As the poster child of Silicon Valley gone wrong, Holmes is likely to spend a chunk of time behind bars – and eventually star in an American Crime Story.
08 US / Play for pay 🍆 🍑 🍆 🍑 🍆 🍑
Rap star Cardi B was appointed creative director of the “how does that even still exist?” Playboy empire. “It’s truly the original platform for uncensored creativity and I’m inspired by its incredible legacy of fighting for personal freedoms,” said the writer of hit single and best acronym of 2020 ‘WAP’. “Through her unapologetic commitment to free expression… and her celebration of sex and body positivity, Cardi is the embodiment of the Playboy brand,” said chief exec Ben Kohn. Whichever way you see the cultural/sexual revolution, it’s a savvy move for a title that could easily have found itself as the sole item in the Donald J Presidential Library.
07 INTERWEBZ / Tall tales 🕹️
Supergiant became the first videogame creator to win at the Hugo Awards, which traditionally honour literary works and graphic novels in fantasy and science fiction. Games were included as a special genre for 2021 but, such is the quality of storytelling in today’s shoot-‘em-ups, the committee said they had “been studying the possibility of adding such a category for several years now”. Greg Kasavin, who got the prize for Hades, said it was because “games are really unique as a medium in that they’re interactive and you can really inhabit one of these fantastical worlds”.
06 INDIA / Crappy times
Plurality got another kick in the teeth after a fake app advertised the auction of famous Muslim women. It’s not the first time virtual bullying and the threat of sexual violence has been targeted at Muslim women – or women in general, for that matter. “What guarantees do we have from the government that tomorrow the threats and intimidation online is not going to turn into the real-time sexual violence on the streets?” asked the opposition Congress party’s Hasiba Amin.
05 WORLD / Taste duds 🤮 🤮 🤮
Trend forecasters predicted that mushrooms, seaweed and 1980s cocktails will feature heavily on menus in 2022. According to The New York Times, Gen Z – “whose members want food with sustainable ingredients and a strong cultural back story, prepared without exploitation and delivered in a carbon-neutral way – within 30 minutes” – are to blame. They’re also responsible for the lame new word “swicy”.
04 CHINA / Love contractually 💔
Officials in COVID-compromised Luanzhou are compiling a database of singletons, with the aim of setting up speed-dating sessions via state-run businesses. “If they think that youngsters are going to forgo partying in favour of a virtual matchmaking party, they are so wrong,” said someone on Weibo while idly swiping left on Tinder.
03 HAITI / Die job
Gunmen tried to kill PM Ariel Henry when he was at a church in the northern city of Gonaïves, marking the 218th anniversary of the Caribbean country’s independence. Classy. President Jovenel Moïse was assassinated at home last July.
02 ISRAEL / Double trouble 🤰
An unvaccinated pregnant woman unwittingly coined a new phrase, after managing to contract flu and COVID at the same time. The term “flurona” went, erm, viral.
01 UK / Late notice 💅
Men who died as criminals for the crime/status of being gay were finally pardoned.
Make-it-into-a-tea-towel of the week: thinking allowed
How we create “subjective reality”:
Number of the week: dark night 🧛
1,029,916 (and counting)
How many people signed a petition against ex-PM Tony Blair getting a knighthood.
Quote of note: who said…? 🎤 🎄
“A branch of the entertainment industry.”
(a) Opposition leader Keir Starmer on Boris Johnson.
(b) Fox News presenter Sean Hannity on Donald Trump.
(c) Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby on Christmas trees.
Find the answer here.
Stat of the week: numbers shame 🤦
36%
The annual rate of inflation in Turkey, after President Recep Tayyip Erdogan continued with his unique policy of slashing interest rates.
Link of the week: life lesson 🥂
Heard the one about the transgender Vogue model who joined the Merchant Navy, befriended the deputy PM and slept with Omar Sharif? Read all about her.